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How to come in France - watch enemy motion

From a French village website. "Greedy shops" are Gourmet food shops in the area.
Many of you will share my delight at bad translations, but a Seafrance brochure for tourist information tops them all. Called "Useful and a touriste's guide Opal Coast" (sic) it is an amusing read.
Under the heading " To see Calais" it refers to;
The Jacquard Statue - " Situated before the municipal theatre, it's recalling the inventor of system for the reproduce a decorative design in a texture."
The Lighthouse - "It's counting 270 steps and it's taking her rays on night at 0.03miles above of sea's gauge."
The Fisherman's District - "Called courgain maritime picturesquer, where it's agreable of to meet, in this populated district fishers."
The Museum - "Made close to Richelieu's garden. Collections are visited every day except tuesday."
The French Memory's Moment - "Situated before of the town hall, it's the worked of architect Ghesquier - maugendre, statutory, elevated for Sidi Brahim, Dutertre Captain, soldiers of 1870 - 1871 and colonials expositions memories."
The Six Burgess Moment - " Calis is first all six burgess city, these notables, that made the lives sacrifice for to save those beseiged citizens."
The Watching Towers - " In wartime, it's serving of loockout's service charged of to watch enemy motion and in peacetime, of to inform firemans in case of fire and to show fire's direction.
The Notre Dame Church - "Demolished by last bombardements, these origins goes back at XIII century; finished under the english occupation; it's during of reconstruction and can't still to realise beauty of that architecture."
The Pluviose's Moment - "Erected on beach's avenue for to call submarine that sea's be buried before the Calais port in 1910, wen the opportunitie of fearless driving that made to passs under the regular liner."
Citadel - " French crowed for always Calais citadel. In 166 (sic), place's gouvernors of official residence, is attentive care of French's sovereigns, because of privilegied geographic position."
The Rescuer's Moment - "Situated in the Colme quay at paradis basin, it commemorate heroism recuer's Calais."
The Louis XVIII Collumn - "Face at the chamber of commerce, it's commemorate king's deplacement at to Calais, after Napoleon's fall in april 1814."
How to come in France - from a Nord Tourist Brochure
This comes from Opalenews.com - publicity agency in North France.
1) How to come to France.
10 thousands years ago, the Opale Coast did not exist. At this time, a vast channel allowed the Northern Sea crossing. The progressive rising of the sea made that about 2 thousands years before J-C, the sea reached the level we know today. The Opal Coast adjoining Belgium is also facing the South-East english cliffs, lining the Channel and the Northern Sea. Regarding the relief, the Opale Coast is famous because of its two magnificent cliffs: The Cap Blanc Nez rising up to 132 m and the Cap Gris-Nez (50m) followed by fine sand beaches, successively cut by the Canche's bay, the Authie's Bay and the Somme's Bay. As the sea was ebbing back to the Strait, French and English people were trying to hit the same mark, that means conquer the other side of the Channel. From 5th century, the Opal Coast did not stop being invaded, then little each of the colonized city was given back to French people. The Coast also acted other important parts in the History of France. At the turn of 19th century, it was the start point of Napoleon's most ambitious project: The invasion of England, project he had to give up afterwards.
During The Second World War, The Opal Coast was used as rear base by the Britishs troops, then Germans built there the Atlantic Wall. Economicaly speaking the Opale Coast is always and always going over. Regarding the Sea's activities, the ports of the Coast essentially welco merchant vessels and fishing-ships. Bray-Dunes, Dunkerque and Grand-Fort Philippe devote themselves to the cod-fishing in the Iceland sea while the other ports practice the coastal fishing.
Boulogne-sur-Mer is the first fishing-harbour of France but also the important commercial harbour, as for Calais, it stands at the first European rank in regard of the relationships with Great Britain. Situation is more difficult for agriculture, infact, decline of the farmers' incomes makes them turn to other complementary activities.
In term of tourism, the different Cost's resort attract the holiday-makers with a vast range seaside, sports and leisure activities and as well with many towns full of History.
In summer time, you'll appreciate the fine sand lining beaches from Bray-Dunes to Mers-les-Bains. Spring and Autumn are ideal seasons to practice long stolls in the Canche's or Authie's where are located the different regional parks Audomarois (53 062 hab) and Avesnois. The thermal amplitudes recorded on the Opale Coast are always lower than those recorded inside lands. The coast takes advantage of the Gulf-Stream, hot draught coming from across the Atlantic ocean and which contributes to temper the climate. On March, the temperature of water is about 7°C to reach 17°C on August. and the air maximums average on July and August is about 19.5 °C.
The Opale Coast takes advantage of a tide said "Semidiurnal" with two high tides and two low tides a day and a delay from one day to the next one.
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